Twin Pregnancy: 23 weeks + 2 days

Second trimester has been slightly easier than first trimester. Now, instead of my head in a toilet vomiting everything, I am able to eat most things (still can't eat spaghetti and some chicken ingredient foods).  In fact, I get sudden hunger pangs, where I go from zero to one hundred in a second, and I need something to eat right then. Luckily, since I can tolerate more foods, I have been eating more at home, and less out to eat. Which has saved us a lot of money. Now that I am seeing prices of baby items, I'm really trying to be more fiscally responsible with finances. 

I had acid reflux in the first trimester periodically, but now I have it nearly 24 hours a day. There's no "heartburn," but more like the sensation that food is stuck in the back of my throat. It doesn't go away with Zantac 150mg twice daily either. What I did find, was that milk of magnesia helped resolve that food-stuck in my throat sensation well. Only problem is, the taste milk of magnesia makes me nauseous. It also is effective with constipation and deemed okay for use in pregnancy. As my OB put it, "drink as much as you want. It's fine." With constipation being a common symptom in pregnancy, many women resort to milk of magnesia, as Colace (I found) was ineffective). Constipation effected me more in the first trimester. So far, I find if I drink at least 80oz of water daily, constipation relatively resolves itself. OB recommends a gallon a day, but between me peeing every 20 minutes, I don't think my body could physically tolerate any more water. Sometimes, I will come out of the restroom, only to go back 30 seconds later to pee again. Husband jokes he can't take me around any more to run simple errands, because I have to pee as soon as we walk in and then 10 minutes after. In order to help with the pressure on my bladder, I find myself having to take small steps and walk slowly. I'm sure I look ridiculous, along with my pregnancy waddle. 

The most painful symptom I have had, started yesterday. I think one or both of the babies have confused my cervix for a punching bag. I nearly cried last night they were so active. My mom is concerned they may be contractions, but at this time, they're irregular anyway.

The other day, I went to Costco, around lunch time, and I hadn't eat lunch yet. I went, not hungry for lunch yet and planning to eat once I got home. During this errand, in Costco, I started breaking out into a cold sweat, feeling lightheaded, and dizzy. I've been experiencing shortness of breath for the past few weeks, but my shortness of breath was even worse during this dizzy spell. The dizzy spell lasted an hour or more. I wasn't even hungry, so I wondered why I was experiencing these symptoms.  I called my mom to let her know to stay on the phone with me, in case anything happened, and I fainted. Thank goodness for moms. When I got home, I immediately downed a protein shake, and I felt much better. Now, I always try to eat before running an errand to avoid a scary dizzy spell. 

Just last week, we were at a huge public event where thousands of people attended. I had a sudden pang of bladder pressure and urge to pee. I held it for an hour, until we could find a restroom. Holding it started to become so painful. I found port-potties to use, with a huge line. I still can't believe I resorted to this, but I approached the he cop near it, and told him I needed to use the restroom right now. He said to stand in line. Without even trying, I broke down in tears, telling him my situation. He did probably what every chivalrous male would have done and got me to the front of the line. There were a lot of angry people, but I had heard, that holding your urine too long can cause contractions, and like I stated, it already had become very painful. I am so embarrassed to even admit that I did this though. Don't judge me to badly. 

With all these typical symptoms and my ever growing rounded belly, it was becoming difficult to hide this from family. We told my in-laws during a camping trip that I was pregnant (didn't tell them I was having twins though) at almost 15 weeks. We told my family I was pregnant with twins between 15 to 16 weeks. My grandma was ecstatic, calling me "her successor." She had fraternal twin girls, but has no idea we used IVF. At 20 weeks, my husband's side of the family and us, went on another camping trip, and for my husband's birthday, we told his side of the family we were having boy girl twins. We didn't do it in any cute sort of way, which I kind of regret, but my husband was bursting to tell them. They were shocked. Some inquired about IVF, but my husband denied it, I just don't need or want anyone's judgment to weigh on my pregnancy. I already have an extra 15 pounds on my belly, and don't need anyone else's judgement to weigh me down further. 

Kudos to anyone that is open and honest about their whole process though. 

At around 21 weeks, I found decent cribs at Walmart on sale, which I nabbed immediately, even though I had promised myself I would not buy anything until closer to 24 weeks. I am glad I didn't pass up the good deal though. We still need crib mattresses. Who knew a decent crib mattress could be so expensive! I am trying to do research on them. Speaking of research, I've been trying to learn everything I can about strollers. I ordered the City Select Lux yesterday, because it was on sale from normally an $829 price tag to $639. I may return it, if I find a used on for half that price though. $639 doesn't include the cost of two infant car seats and two adapters. 

I hope to write more frequently and am sad I haven't been writing as often as I would have liked. 

7w2d: Nausea without vomiting

Nausea without vomiting is an ICD10 code. It's also the definition of most of my days.

I am barely functioning at work when the nausea hits. I feel like I want to throw up and sometimes I feel the vomit coming up, but as gross as it sounds, I swallow it before it can make it out of my mouth. I don't want to be throwing up the Estradiol medications I am taking three times daily. IVF doc called me in Bonjesta after giving me six free tabs. At first it was helping, but has since stopped. It made me very drowsy, even the next morning. In a way, I am kind of glad it stopped working. Even with my insurance, it was $600 for 60 pills! That is robbery. Diclegis was not much cheaper at almost $400. I asked the doc for some Zofran prior to the frozen embryo transfer (FET), but he said there were too many side effects. My co-workers just keep telling me to "sneak" a zofran, because they all did it in their pregnancies, and they were fine. But I have always been one to listen to what my doctor tells me. I would feel guilty if something happened to my babies and I had taken zofran.

I also started having strange aversions to some foods. I don't want to look at fruit yogurt, chicken doesn't taste good, and mint ice cream looks disgusting. The only thing I want or can eat is at dinner time, at this one hole in the wall Mexican food place. I love their carne asada burritos. Except last night, it started tasting questionable to be too. I force myself to eat breakfast, since I wake up ravishing, but nothing sounds good. Eating breakfast sometimes helps the nausea subside slightly too.

I am still getting intermittent cramps, but they kind of feel like round ligament pains, just based on where the cramps are. It hurts when I sneeze or cough. I have never spotted or bled though.

I have never been prone to headaches, but I have been getting them more often. Not migrainous in nature, and not the worst headache of my life, but definitely there. I take Tylenol and a two to three sips of Pepsi sometimes to settle it.

Later this afternoon, I will have my second ultrasound with the IVF clinic. They had appointments early this morning, but I wanted husband to be there, in case it is bad news. I keep thinking of the worst. I can't help it. Today I am 7 weeks 2 days.

I am hoping for the best, because I haven't had any bleeding or discharge.

Is it this normal to be anxious about every ultrasound?

Second Beta Results

After the longest 48 hours, my appointment finally arrived to draw my second beta results. I walked in at 7:54AM for my 8AM appointment trying to shield my mind from all doubt.

The night before, I took my second home pregnancy test. My logic for this, was that if my hcg levels increased, my line would be much darker than my 11dp5dt one (from Monday). And it was much darker! Even though this was my second home pregnancy test in a 48 hour period, this "magic trick" of seeing double lines never gets old.  The darker line gave me some assurance and some sense of security that my numbers had to hav increased in the past 48 hours. 

3 hours and 20 minutes later (which was almost as long as the 48 hours in-between the two beta tests) I got a call from my fertility clinic. The nurse on the other line sounded monotone, and I felt my heart sink. Then I heard the words "came back good." I breathed a sighed of relief, and asked her what my numbers came as. She said 810. The number from my first beta was 276, so my beta number didn't double, it tripled! 

The first half of work day after that phone call was easy breezy, and I was slap happy. Come 3pm, I had a whole mood swing, I felt moody, exhausted, and overwhelmed. On top of that, I was insanely bloated to the point my  loosest scrubs felt tight. I took a gas-X that morning to help, which it did, but I don't like taking anything unless absolutely necessary. I hate that I am already having to take Tylenol everyday for my extreme back pain. I should have brought another one from home, because the bloat was unbearable as the gas-x wore off that afternoon. Gas-X was one of the medications on my pregnancy approved list from my IVF doctor. 

We had such a large influx of patients come in from 2pm to 8pm that I had just enough time to eat a small portion of my Mac & Cheese and yoplait peach yogurt lunch I brought from home, but barely enough water. I usually drink 160oz, but barely drank ver 80oz yesterday. I felt so nauseous that I had to carry a vomit bag in-between seeing patients. My head started spinning, and I got my first headache since starting hormone therapy and since finding out I was officially pregnant. I took 1500mg total of Tylenol yesterday for my back pain and headache, which helped, but nothing would stop the nausea. I had no mints to suck on, and I had no time to eat. My 12 hour shift felt like 24 hours, and I didn't get home until 9:45, and I was 45 minutes late for my PIO injection. 

I woke up in the middle of the night with just my torso and pelvis drenched in sweat. Granted, I get very cold before bedtime these past two weeks, so I bundle up in sweaters, and sweats, with three blankets... but have never woken up in a cold sweat just over my torso before. I also had my first bout of mild diarrhea between one of my many night time trips to the restroom to pee all night. 

Despite all the crappy symptoms, I am grateful to be bloated, cramping, back pain, frequent urination, cold sweats, and even my one bout of diarrhea. 

Sincerely,

The former, now pregnant, egg donor

6dp5dt: Second Day Back to Work

I didn't write yesterday because I forgot to bring my laptop to work to "blog" during my down time. It's a shame I didn't. I only saw 17 patients in 12 hours (aka: slow day for me) and I had plenty of down time. Plenty of down time (aka: plenty of time to worry about implantation).

In regards to my symptoms yesterday 5dp5dt: I felt bloated... more than any other day. I literally could feel stretch marks developing as the skin over my abdomen stretched. It was terrible. My IVF doc told me it was okay to take simethicone, but I know nothing is deemed perfectly safe, so I opted against it. I did take 1 gram of Tylenol yesterday though for my back pain that has been going on for 2-3 months now. I'm not sure if there is a correlation, but every time we switch to the right flute for my PIO (progesterone in oil) injection, the right side of my back pain is worse. Since I am having to pee frequently lately, I attempted to get out of bed around 12AM, but felt severe spasms in my back (again, not unusual- I've had this for 2-3 months intermittently) preventing me from turning, changing position, or even getting up from bed. It was easily a brief 10/10 pain. I started crying (cue the estrogen please), and my husband woke up immediately helping me up to use to the restroom. Poor guy. He wakes up at 4AM every morning to go to work, and I just woke him up for my spasms. They were so bad, and I was writhing so much to move, I am afraid that maybe it harmed the implantation process? Ugh, I can't think that way anymore.

Today is officially my 6dp5dt and other my low back pain, I felt okay. Bloating nearly resolved, but still burping frequently (I never have burped this much than I have than in these past few days). No real cramping. I pretty much feel 100%. I don't know if this concerns me or not though. I took 1gram of Tylenol for my back pain this morning and will try not to take anymore the rest of the day. I've noticed that I am getting hungry for small more frequent meals these past two days. Don't know if thats normal, or the placebo effect of me "feeling" or "wanting" to be pregnant though.

I've still been holding on any hcg tests. There are plenty of them here at work I could pee on, but I am testing my will power beyond measure. It feels great to be so strong! Plus, it feels great to be PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise). I've never been pregnant before, nor even had a miscarriage, so I'm savoring it. If anyone is wanting to take one, I hear the best day to take one is 7dp5dt at night.

I am working a half shift today, and then heading off to a political conference via airplane. I asked my doctor if I could my PIO injection 2 hours early (my plane leaves at 8:10PM and lands at 10:30PM). My PIO injection is done at 9PM nightly. My doctor advised no earlier than 8PM. I have no idea how I'll pull this off while sitting on a plane, but we'll figure it out. Already have my doctor's note explaining my armory of needles, injections and what not for TSA. That always went super smoothly when I was an egg donor, so hopefully, this will be just as smooth.

Baby dust to all of you reading,

The Former Egg Donor

Starting the Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) Process

I started my Estradiol  two 1mg pills twice daily started from May 20th to May 28th. On May 28th, I went in for my baseline ultrasound checking my uterine lining. I think they said it was almost 9cm. From my understanding, over 8cm is the desirable lining thickness.

On May 28th, after my baseline ultrasound, they increased my 1mg Estradiol dose to two 1mg tabs three times daily. With the increased dose of Estrogen, I felt incredibly nauseous and even some vomiting. My doctor advised against Zofran, and instead just sucking on peppermint for now. Looking up the drug's side effects, only 4% experience nausea, so it doesn't appear to be a common side effect. One night, my nausea came on abruptly, and I vomited at my in-laws yard. The questions started to my husband, "Is she pregnant?" We have kept this entire IVF thing a secret from most of his and my family. I already have high hopes, and will be crushed if it doesn't work out, and didn't want to have my family be disappointed. It would only devastate me further. 

On June 2nd, I started 2cc of Progesterone (in oil). I had briefly taken a look at you tube videos about how painful these are, and "ways to make it less painful." I was frightened the first time my husband injected me with it. I barely felt the 22 gauge needle going in and didn't feel the medicine entering my body. We do that every night around 9PM. I get off work ideally at 8pm (unless there are patients that come in at closing, grrrr), it takes an hour to get home, just in time for my injection. It's all "very exciting." I have noticed, that the upper part of my bum feels a little numb, and wondering if its all that oil? Prior to my injection, I put an ice pack directly on my skin over the place he will inject it, to numb ti initial prick of the needle and it totally works! 

I wasn't emotional during the estrogen pills, but with the progesterone injections, I was a hot mess. I would get frustrated or sad and even cry happy tears during cute dog videos. I'm not a crier and I'm not emotional usually, so these were all new feelings for me. 

My embryo transfer is on track for June 8th at 11:30. I don't handle pain very well, and requested that I be put under for my transfer. Usually, you are just put under for the retrieval. It would be an extra cost, but there is no way I would sit still with a full bladder, an ultrasound pressing on my uterus and full bladder, and a catheter inserted in my cervix. I will update on my FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) later. 

Does Egg Donation Affect My Future Fertility?

Q: If I donate my eggs, does it affect my future fertility? 

( I get this question so many times in my email, that I decided to publicly post my response for all to view. If you are a skim-reader, at least read the wording in red). 

A: Truth is, there are no long term studies showing the after effects of egg donation. So don't accept their guarantees that there are no consequences to your fertility.  Per my previous four donations, I was always told by my  agency and IVF doctors that there was absolutely no risk to my own fertility. After befriending many other egg donors, and completing my first year in medical school, I have come to the devastating realization that it is very possible that my previous  four donations have put me at increased risk of cancer and reducing my ovarian reserve. Some of my egg donor friends have actually gone into early menopause before the age of 30, likely caused by egg donation. 

For a long time, I couldn't wrap my head around my agency and IVF doctors constantly reassuring me that I was not putting my body in any sort of danger. Since then, I have realized that I was a very trusting and naive individual. I also was not a medical student back then either. Of course I shouldn't put all my faith into those people who are using my body as an egg vending machine. I was merely another check in the bank! I want to believe that my original agency whom I had done 3 cycles with, really did not know that it did in fact take a major toll on their donors. Recently, I was asked by them to do a fifth donation. However, I denied the offer. I am no longer willing to donate. Partially because of what I have learned in medical school, partially because of my nightmare experience with another agency I worked with on my fourth cycle, and partially because of I am on new medications that disallows me to be a donor anymore. I hope potential donors reading this takes consideration of the serious health risks you take on as an egg donor. 

When girls ask me about whether I would recommend egg donation, I am unable to really give a straight answer. Instead, I like to tell them what I know medically behind the process, and the possible consequences. I also tell them about my first 3 donations, and how wonderful my agency treated me. In 2 of those 3 donations with them, I was put in the best hotels, and taken care of very well by them. During one of the donations, one of the hotels was pretty bad, and in a sketchy part of town. I was not sure if it was because the cost of living was higher in this area... or what, but that was my last donation with that agency.  

If you have any more questions as a potential donor, donor, or intended parent, please tweet or email me! The best way to contact me is on Twitter. 

Future Egg Donation

When my phone rang today and the caller ID read that it was egg donor agency, I quickly picked up the phone. I anticipated good news about the couple I just donated to, or with my new couple that wanted me after this donation. My agency told me that the couple looking to use me after my 3rd cycle, had found someone else a couple of weeks ago. I guess they could not wait for me to finish off this last cycle. I am disappointed that it didn't work out, but I am fairly confident that another couple will pick me. Hopefully soon! 

-Your Egg Donor-

My Fat Pants Aren't Fitting Me

What today looks like: 

Lupron: Day 11

Receive my Stim Meds Tomorrow

Begin Stim Meds August 6th

Target Day Retrieval: August 17th

This morning I hopped onto the weight scale to see how severe the damage was since I've been taking Lupron. The damage was pretty bad. Lupron definitely facilitated the rapid weight gain. I have to keep telling myself that the weight will come off.... eventually. I am going to try not to give in to any of my irrational food cravings. 

The apothecary (a specialty pharmacy) is having my stimulation medications delivered to my home tomorrow. These stimulation medications will be a combination of hormones that will stimulate my ovaries to produce eggs. After a couple of days of injecting these hormones, I will inject hCG (Human chorionic gonadotropin) to force me to ovulate (release the eggs)-- just in time for the retrieval on August 17th. 

I am crossing my fingers this couple will have a successful outcome like I had the previous two donations! 

Egg Donation

Less than a year ago, I signed up to be an egg donor. With a bachelors in Biology, I thought the whole process was pretty fascinating... though, my family did not think so. When I tried to bring up the idea of donating my eggs to another family, my mother about had a stroke. She strongly discouraged my "idea" of donating, saying it would effect my fertility in the future, and how much I would regret it. To quiet her concerns, I told her I would not go through with the donation process.... yet...

My profile became available for intended parents soon after documents were signed, and I was disappointed when I wasn't picked the next day. I found out later, it usually takes 1-3 years to get picked out of an agency! I got even more discouraged when my agency coordinator would call me excitedly when a couple had asked to look at my profile and pictures. Disappointedly, intended parents were always too nervous to take a risk with a first time donor... I wasn't proven, and I didn't have children. It was for these reasons, I was eggstatic to hear that a couple was in the midst of choosing between myself and another proven donor. After what felt like centuries (only a week), I found out they had chosen me! I felt so lucky that these intended parents thought I was worth taking the risk. I promised myself when I found out the news, that I would do my absolute best to take care of myself, for these wonderful people. So, after signing 30 pages in contract with my agency, I am ready to roll!

I am told, the next step is a 500 question psychology exam (to make sure I am mentally well, I guess?), birth control pills, blood work, and a vaginal ultrasound (yay...). All this will begin on day three of my next period. I just had my menstrual cycle, so we'll have to wait another month.... I will update the blog then!