Since I have been admitted to the hospital on bedrest since December 7th, I am realizing how my thoughts can run rampant and think of all the worst possible scenarios. I have been so anxious about the "fear of pain" and the "fear of the unknown" for labor and delivery.
Today, I realized that my anxiety has improved so much. My nurse last night told me everyone who would be in the room at the time of my delivery. Two NICU teams, two respiratory therapists, two of my nurses, my doctor, and if I need a c-section, a scrub tech and a first assist. Hearing about all those people in one room would normally freak me out, but all of a sudden, I realized that most people in that room are for my babies. A sort of calm ran through me and I realized how grateful I am that there are medical people specializing in this field. I know there will be pain, but I am getting to that point where I just feel so blessed my babies have been overall doing so well during their fetal monitoring despite my PPROM. My perspective has changed so much, since my admittance at the hospital. I became a part of a PPROM facebook support group and so many women have stories where they ruptures before their baby's viability! I feel so blessed that my babies are viable and how well they are doing. If my rupture was inevitable, at least I was blessed enough that they were viable right? If I don't spin the story to seeing the glass as half full, I'll go into depression here at the hospital. Seeing these 4 walls everyday, eating hospital food, and not sleeping in my bed with my husband and dog can really eat at a person's positivity. I still have 4 more weeks, so I'll try to keep my chin up till then.
Monday, December 17, 2018
Thursday, December 13, 2018
29w5d: PPROM
It's been 6 days since I was diagnosed with PPROM (preterm premature rupture of membranes), and admitted to the hospital. I'm still in shock that this happened to me. Apparently PPROM occurs in only 3% of pregnancies and on Friday morning, I joined that small minority of pregnancies.
As I creep nearer and nearer to 34 weeks, I have been peppering the nurses with questions about the labor and delivery process. They have all been up front with me about how painful and messy it all is, and I appreciate their honesty. I do have a long history of severe anxiety though, and asked them about ways to cope with the "fear of pain." One of my nurses (Jill) told me to ask my doctor about nitrous oxide ("laughing gas"). She suggested this when I told her I was planning on having an epidural, but I was fearful of the pain that might come with an epidural. I discussed this with my doctor and he told me to request nitrous oxide before the epidural to relax me. He said the anesthesiologist wouldn't let me inhale the gas as the epidural was going in, but I am crossing my fingers the nitrous oxide will have a lasting effect through the epidural, to the point where my anxiety will be reduced. My nurses also told me they give Dilaudid for patients with contractions, but not dilated, and too soon for the epidural. I wanted to ask my doctor that question, but I was too embarrassed to ask. I understand women can get anxious before birth day, but I feel like I take it to a new level...
A typical day at the hospital consists of round the clock antibiotics. The first two days I was given lactated ringer solution fluids, ampicillin and magnesium. My nurses described magnesium as "flu in a bottle." It just makes you feel terrible and weak. I received two steroid injections and a Tdap injection. I stopped IVs Sunday and take oral medications only. I take oral antibiotics every 8 hours and a prenatal vitamin once daily. On an as needed basis, I take Pepcid, Colace, Diclegis, and at night, they offer Ambien. I felt guilty taking Ambien, but the doctor has OK'ed it and told me everyone on the floor takes it. It's so hard sleeping here, and it simultaneously helps with anxiousness. I suck up the guilt and try to remember the doctor OK'ed it. Twice a day, we do fetal monitoring and babies have been doing amazing. Other than one night with brief decelerations, which they checked on ultrasound, and they received a perfect 8/8 score. According to the tech and doctors, we cannot be sure which twin's sac ruptured, but it appears the girl's sac broke because she has the least fluid. They measure their fluid using the "deepest vertical pocket" of fluid and as long as it's over 2, it's fine. The boy's fluid measures 2.4 and the girl's fluid measures 2.1. In singleton pregnancies, they use the term AFI (amniotic fluid index), but not in twins normally. On ultrasound, it appears the girl twin is no longer twin B. She migrated down and is now twin A (closer to the cervix) and both twins are both head down. Every day, I do "leak" amniotic fluid and doctors tell me I will leak until I deliver, so I wear this embarrassing huge blue pad that makes me feel like I'm 90 years old. *sigh*
I had a few visitors today which was so nice. It made me feel human again. Everyone in my church has been extremely helpful from bringing my husband food to bringing me some sort of gift in the hospital. I still haven't announced my pregnancy officially yet on facebook, and only family and few friends know, so it's nice that the few that know, care. It helps me from stressing out and keeps my mind from wandering. I hope they continue to remember me the next 30 days.
As I creep nearer and nearer to 34 weeks, I have been peppering the nurses with questions about the labor and delivery process. They have all been up front with me about how painful and messy it all is, and I appreciate their honesty. I do have a long history of severe anxiety though, and asked them about ways to cope with the "fear of pain." One of my nurses (Jill) told me to ask my doctor about nitrous oxide ("laughing gas"). She suggested this when I told her I was planning on having an epidural, but I was fearful of the pain that might come with an epidural. I discussed this with my doctor and he told me to request nitrous oxide before the epidural to relax me. He said the anesthesiologist wouldn't let me inhale the gas as the epidural was going in, but I am crossing my fingers the nitrous oxide will have a lasting effect through the epidural, to the point where my anxiety will be reduced. My nurses also told me they give Dilaudid for patients with contractions, but not dilated, and too soon for the epidural. I wanted to ask my doctor that question, but I was too embarrassed to ask. I understand women can get anxious before birth day, but I feel like I take it to a new level...
A typical day at the hospital consists of round the clock antibiotics. The first two days I was given lactated ringer solution fluids, ampicillin and magnesium. My nurses described magnesium as "flu in a bottle." It just makes you feel terrible and weak. I received two steroid injections and a Tdap injection. I stopped IVs Sunday and take oral medications only. I take oral antibiotics every 8 hours and a prenatal vitamin once daily. On an as needed basis, I take Pepcid, Colace, Diclegis, and at night, they offer Ambien. I felt guilty taking Ambien, but the doctor has OK'ed it and told me everyone on the floor takes it. It's so hard sleeping here, and it simultaneously helps with anxiousness. I suck up the guilt and try to remember the doctor OK'ed it. Twice a day, we do fetal monitoring and babies have been doing amazing. Other than one night with brief decelerations, which they checked on ultrasound, and they received a perfect 8/8 score. According to the tech and doctors, we cannot be sure which twin's sac ruptured, but it appears the girl's sac broke because she has the least fluid. They measure their fluid using the "deepest vertical pocket" of fluid and as long as it's over 2, it's fine. The boy's fluid measures 2.4 and the girl's fluid measures 2.1. In singleton pregnancies, they use the term AFI (amniotic fluid index), but not in twins normally. On ultrasound, it appears the girl twin is no longer twin B. She migrated down and is now twin A (closer to the cervix) and both twins are both head down. Every day, I do "leak" amniotic fluid and doctors tell me I will leak until I deliver, so I wear this embarrassing huge blue pad that makes me feel like I'm 90 years old. *sigh*
I had a few visitors today which was so nice. It made me feel human again. Everyone in my church has been extremely helpful from bringing my husband food to bringing me some sort of gift in the hospital. I still haven't announced my pregnancy officially yet on facebook, and only family and few friends know, so it's nice that the few that know, care. It helps me from stressing out and keeps my mind from wandering. I hope they continue to remember me the next 30 days.
Monday, December 10, 2018
PPROM: Preterm premature rupture of the membranes at 28w6d
At around 6:30AM on Friday, December 7th, I started to feel a mild trickle of water in my PJs. At the time, I was lying down in bed, and cuddling with my pup, and my initial thought was, "Ive reached the incontinent stage." I noticed that it only trickled when I took a deep breath in, so didn't immediately attribute it to anything else. I laid there still for a few more minutes, but with each deep breath, I would feel that slow trickle. I got up to empty my bladder, and noticed my PJ's were soaked. I was alarmed, but still thought that it could still just be urine. I took my now wet PJ bottoms and did a load of laundry, and put on a new pair of PJ pants. I laid myself down again, and noticed the leak was not going away.
My husband had already left for work, so I tried calling him. He didn't answer, so I called the OB nurse my insurance offered for free 24/7. The nurse started asking me ridiculous questions, like if I felt a baby's leg in my vagina, or if I was having 'shock' symptoms. When I felt like she was just asking me generic questions, I told her I knew what I had to do and hung up. I texted my husband I thought my water had broken, and he called back within a few minutes. He rushed back home to take me to the hospital. I still didn't know if I believed that my water could have broken, and I still thought there was a chance I peed.
We entered the maternity section of the hospital, and I walked in hunched over and wet PJ pants. They directed me to registration. I had already sent in my registry papers by mail, so I was irritated when they said they didn't have them. I kept stalling the registry woman I was leaking and I was in pain, but she kept asking me about my social security and insurance, as I was leaking onto her chair, *sigh*. I took a deep breath and answered all of her never ending questions about my insurance and address, She had me walk myself through the triage doors and the nurses took over.
They immediately asked pertinent questions to my situation and the nurse got a sample of the fluid that was leaking to do a "fern" test. The "fern" test confirm is the fluid was amniotic fluid. A few minutes later, the nurse returned confirming that my water broke and that I was going to be admitted.
They kept me on fetal monitoring while I waited for an open room. I was having regular contractions every 10 minutes, but they were not intense. They started me on magnesium which reduced the frequency of the contractions. Magnesium deserves its own blog post, but I will summarize here. IV Magnesium is like the "flu in a bottle." It made my teeth chatter from chills, and the next minute, I was burning up. My muscles were so weak (it relaxes muscles to ease contractions), I could barely move on my own. It makes you light headed and gives you terrible headaches. All in the name of saving my babies and keeping them inutero, I endured for 48 hours on Magnesium. My doctors also told me it helps with cerebral safety for the babies should they delivery early.
Once admitted, they administered a steroid injection that is intramuscular. If you are at risk to deliver early, they will administer two steroid injections over the course of 48 hours to accelerate baby's lung development.
Their primary goal was to keep them inutero until Sunday. This would give the steroid injection enough time to work its magic on the babies' lungs. I've made it until Monday afternoon, and I hope many more afternoons until they induce me at 34 weeks. The longer they stay in the better!
I was cleared yesterday to shower, and cleared today to go outside in a wheelchair. I'm so excited for this! It's the little things I get to look forward to now. I will update later.
Monday, October 29, 2018
Twin Pregnancy: 23 weeks + 2 days
Second trimester has been slightly easier than first trimester. Now, instead of my head in a toilet vomiting everything, I am able to eat most things (still can't eat spaghetti and some chicken ingredient foods). In fact, I get sudden hunger pangs, where I go from zero to one hundred in a second, and I need something to eat right then. Luckily, since I can tolerate more foods, I have been eating more at home, and less out to eat. Which has saved us a lot of money. Now that I am seeing prices of baby items, I'm really trying to be more fiscally responsible with finances.
I had acid reflux in the first trimester periodically, but now I have it nearly 24 hours a day. There's no "heartburn," but more like the sensation that food is stuck in the back of my throat. It doesn't go away with Zantac 150mg twice daily either. What I did find, was that milk of magnesia helped resolve that food-stuck in my throat sensation well. Only problem is, the taste milk of magnesia makes me nauseous. It also is effective with constipation and deemed okay for use in pregnancy. As my OB put it, "drink as much as you want. It's fine." With constipation being a common symptom in pregnancy, many women resort to milk of magnesia, as Colace (I found) was ineffective). Constipation effected me more in the first trimester. So far, I find if I drink at least 80oz of water daily, constipation relatively resolves itself. OB recommends a gallon a day, but between me peeing every 20 minutes, I don't think my body could physically tolerate any more water. Sometimes, I will come out of the restroom, only to go back 30 seconds later to pee again. Husband jokes he can't take me around any more to run simple errands, because I have to pee as soon as we walk in and then 10 minutes after. In order to help with the pressure on my bladder, I find myself having to take small steps and walk slowly. I'm sure I look ridiculous, along with my pregnancy waddle.
The most painful symptom I have had, started yesterday. I think one or both of the babies have confused my cervix for a punching bag. I nearly cried last night they were so active. My mom is concerned they may be contractions, but at this time, they're irregular anyway.
The other day, I went to Costco, around lunch time, and I hadn't eat lunch yet. I went, not hungry for lunch yet and planning to eat once I got home. During this errand, in Costco, I started breaking out into a cold sweat, feeling lightheaded, and dizzy. I've been experiencing shortness of breath for the past few weeks, but my shortness of breath was even worse during this dizzy spell. The dizzy spell lasted an hour or more. I wasn't even hungry, so I wondered why I was experiencing these symptoms. I called my mom to let her know to stay on the phone with me, in case anything happened, and I fainted. Thank goodness for moms. When I got home, I immediately downed a protein shake, and I felt much better. Now, I always try to eat before running an errand to avoid a scary dizzy spell.
Just last week, we were at a huge public event where thousands of people attended. I had a sudden pang of bladder pressure and urge to pee. I held it for an hour, until we could find a restroom. Holding it started to become so painful. I found port-potties to use, with a huge line. I still can't believe I resorted to this, but I approached the he cop near it, and told him I needed to use the restroom right now. He said to stand in line. Without even trying, I broke down in tears, telling him my situation. He did probably what every chivalrous male would have done and got me to the front of the line. There were a lot of angry people, but I had heard, that holding your urine too long can cause contractions, and like I stated, it already had become very painful. I am so embarrassed to even admit that I did this though. Don't judge me to badly.
With all these typical symptoms and my ever growing rounded belly, it was becoming difficult to hide this from family. We told my in-laws during a camping trip that I was pregnant (didn't tell them I was having twins though) at almost 15 weeks. We told my family I was pregnant with twins between 15 to 16 weeks. My grandma was ecstatic, calling me "her successor." She had fraternal twin girls, but has no idea we used IVF. At 20 weeks, my husband's side of the family and us, went on another camping trip, and for my husband's birthday, we told his side of the family we were having boy girl twins. We didn't do it in any cute sort of way, which I kind of regret, but my husband was bursting to tell them. They were shocked. Some inquired about IVF, but my husband denied it, I just don't need or want anyone's judgment to weigh on my pregnancy. I already have an extra 15 pounds on my belly, and don't need anyone else's judgement to weigh me down further.
Kudos to anyone that is open and honest about their whole process though.
At around 21 weeks, I found decent cribs at Walmart on sale, which I nabbed immediately, even though I had promised myself I would not buy anything until closer to 24 weeks. I am glad I didn't pass up the good deal though. We still need crib mattresses. Who knew a decent crib mattress could be so expensive! I am trying to do research on them. Speaking of research, I've been trying to learn everything I can about strollers. I ordered the City Select Lux yesterday, because it was on sale from normally an $829 price tag to $639. I may return it, if I find a used on for half that price though. $639 doesn't include the cost of two infant car seats and two adapters.
I hope to write more frequently and am sad I haven't been writing as often as I would have liked.
Friday, August 31, 2018
14 weeks 6 days pregnant with twins
I told myself I would blog consistently so that I could always look back on my first pregnancy. Every time I thought about sitting down to blog though, I felt "too sick," "too tired," or had so much to say, I felt "too overwhelmed." The general theme of this pregnancy from 6 weeks 5 days even up until today, is nausea and vomiting. Mid my 12th week, I also experienced bleeding with quarter sized clots for one day. I attributed it to possibly stopping my progesterone and estrogen pills the first day of my 12th week. My OB did an ultrasound 1-2 days later, and the babies were bouncing around with healthy heartbeats. On my 13th week, I started feeling safer, being in the second trimester, that my chance of miscarrying were low, and the genetics testing (nuchal translucency an trisomy blood test) returned normal. My in-laws still didn't know I was pregnant, and my husband was dying (begging me) to tell them. His family had planned a camping trip when I would be exactly 14 weeks pregnant, and I gave my husband the okay to announce that I was pregnant. We said nothing about it being a twin pregnancy though. As fate annoyingly would have it, I started bleeding bright red and pink blood without clots an hour after he announced. I didn't have reception in the woods, so we just prayed everything would be okay and finished the last 2 days of the camp out.
I called my doctor at 8am on Monday to let them know what happened Saturday, and they immediately saw me within 2 hours of my call. The ultrasound showed two healthy babies wiggling around with healthy heart beats. He did note a possible subchorionic hemorrhage on my left side though. He referred me to a perinatologist.
I had a long ultrasound with the ultrasonographer and a consult with their doctor. It was such an amazing experience. My sonographer asked me if I wanted to know the genders as soon as she spotted both babies, and I enthusiastically told her I would. Baby A, was a "he" and was obvious! Baby B, was a "she" and also obvious. I would have been happy with any result, but if we had done PGS testing, this is how my husband and I would have chosen. Otherwise, she did not note any subchorionic hematoma. The perinatologist did note that baby A's placenta was 9mm away from my cervix, which may or may not have caused the bleeding. If it would have been over the cervix, that would have been called "placenta previa." She said the placenta would not grow over my cervix because the placenta would grow away from it, which made me feel better.
My husband was working, and didn't attend the appointment, so I got to think of ways to surprise him when he got home. This was exciting to me, because nothing in IVF is really a surprise because everything is so meticulously planned. I quickly ordered 2 custom cream filled cupcakes for him.
When I got him, he was already showered and ready to slice open some cupcakes to find out my secret. He didn't hesitate. He grabbed a plastic knife and plunged it through. He selected the blue cream filled cup cake first. He was ecstatic. I think every father wants to know he has a son, right? He didn't even stop to take a bite from the $10 overpriced custom cupcake before slicing through the next cupcake. Again, he was ecstatic. Every father wants to know they're going to have a daughter, right? I took video of the whole thing, but to spare my anonymity, will not post it here.
We are overjoyed with this news and it makes all my sickness worth it!
Monday, July 9, 2018
7w2d: Nausea without vomiting
Nausea without vomiting is an ICD10 code. It's also the definition of most of my days.
I am barely functioning at work when the nausea hits. I feel like I want to throw up and sometimes I feel the vomit coming up, but as gross as it sounds, I swallow it before it can make it out of my mouth. I don't want to be throwing up the Estradiol medications I am taking three times daily. IVF doc called me in Bonjesta after giving me six free tabs. At first it was helping, but has since stopped. It made me very drowsy, even the next morning. In a way, I am kind of glad it stopped working. Even with my insurance, it was $600 for 60 pills! That is robbery. Diclegis was not much cheaper at almost $400. I asked the doc for some Zofran prior to the frozen embryo transfer (FET), but he said there were too many side effects. My co-workers just keep telling me to "sneak" a zofran, because they all did it in their pregnancies, and they were fine. But I have always been one to listen to what my doctor tells me. I would feel guilty if something happened to my babies and I had taken zofran.
I also started having strange aversions to some foods. I don't want to look at fruit yogurt, chicken doesn't taste good, and mint ice cream looks disgusting. The only thing I want or can eat is at dinner time, at this one hole in the wall Mexican food place. I love their carne asada burritos. Except last night, it started tasting questionable to be too. I force myself to eat breakfast, since I wake up ravishing, but nothing sounds good. Eating breakfast sometimes helps the nausea subside slightly too.
I am still getting intermittent cramps, but they kind of feel like round ligament pains, just based on where the cramps are. It hurts when I sneeze or cough. I have never spotted or bled though.
I have never been prone to headaches, but I have been getting them more often. Not migrainous in nature, and not the worst headache of my life, but definitely there. I take Tylenol and a two to three sips of Pepsi sometimes to settle it.
Later this afternoon, I will have my second ultrasound with the IVF clinic. They had appointments early this morning, but I wanted husband to be there, in case it is bad news. I keep thinking of the worst. I can't help it. Today I am 7 weeks 2 days.
I am hoping for the best, because I haven't had any bleeding or discharge.
Is it this normal to be anxious about every ultrasound?
I am barely functioning at work when the nausea hits. I feel like I want to throw up and sometimes I feel the vomit coming up, but as gross as it sounds, I swallow it before it can make it out of my mouth. I don't want to be throwing up the Estradiol medications I am taking three times daily. IVF doc called me in Bonjesta after giving me six free tabs. At first it was helping, but has since stopped. It made me very drowsy, even the next morning. In a way, I am kind of glad it stopped working. Even with my insurance, it was $600 for 60 pills! That is robbery. Diclegis was not much cheaper at almost $400. I asked the doc for some Zofran prior to the frozen embryo transfer (FET), but he said there were too many side effects. My co-workers just keep telling me to "sneak" a zofran, because they all did it in their pregnancies, and they were fine. But I have always been one to listen to what my doctor tells me. I would feel guilty if something happened to my babies and I had taken zofran.
I also started having strange aversions to some foods. I don't want to look at fruit yogurt, chicken doesn't taste good, and mint ice cream looks disgusting. The only thing I want or can eat is at dinner time, at this one hole in the wall Mexican food place. I love their carne asada burritos. Except last night, it started tasting questionable to be too. I force myself to eat breakfast, since I wake up ravishing, but nothing sounds good. Eating breakfast sometimes helps the nausea subside slightly too.
I am still getting intermittent cramps, but they kind of feel like round ligament pains, just based on where the cramps are. It hurts when I sneeze or cough. I have never spotted or bled though.
I have never been prone to headaches, but I have been getting them more often. Not migrainous in nature, and not the worst headache of my life, but definitely there. I take Tylenol and a two to three sips of Pepsi sometimes to settle it.
Later this afternoon, I will have my second ultrasound with the IVF clinic. They had appointments early this morning, but I wanted husband to be there, in case it is bad news. I keep thinking of the worst. I can't help it. Today I am 7 weeks 2 days.
I am hoping for the best, because I haven't had any bleeding or discharge.
Is it this normal to be anxious about every ultrasound?
Sunday, July 1, 2018
So this happened on Friday
I went in to my first ultrasound with extremely high anxiety and my husband cool as a cucumber. I joined a IVF FB group that terrified me with all the things I could see if the pregnancy was non-viable based on the ultrasound.
After what seemed like an hour in the lobby (it wasn't), they called my name and they performed our first ultrasound. Prior to the first ultrasound, I did a crash course on youtube of prenatal ultrasounds, Just things to look out for.
The ultrasound tech inserted the wand, and I quickly caught a glimpse of a sac... then two sacs. The image was so quick, I couldn't check off my mental check list of fetal pole, yolk sac and heart fluttering. She got the wand in better position, and I saw one sac only. She measured it and 6 weeks 3 days. She was surprised because at the time, I was only❤️ 5 weeks 6 days. She maneuvered the wand, and the second sac I thought I had initially seen showed up. It measured and looked much smaller which worried me. The ultrasound tech said this is actually what it should be measuring because I was only 5 weeks 6 days. Baby B measured a day behind at 5 weeks 5 days. Baby A did have a visible heart movement (fluttering), but baby B didn't. The ultrasound tech did not seem too concerned though as I was not even 6 weeks technically yet.
My husband reached over a gave me a high five.
We did it.
We made it to our first ultrasound without bad or sad tears.
She asked us to come back on July 9th to see how babies were doing. We are crossing my fingers baby B's heart is fluttering at that time too!
After what seemed like an hour in the lobby (it wasn't), they called my name and they performed our first ultrasound. Prior to the first ultrasound, I did a crash course on youtube of prenatal ultrasounds, Just things to look out for.
The ultrasound tech inserted the wand, and I quickly caught a glimpse of a sac... then two sacs. The image was so quick, I couldn't check off my mental check list of fetal pole, yolk sac and heart fluttering. She got the wand in better position, and I saw one sac only. She measured it and 6 weeks 3 days. She was surprised because at the time, I was only❤️ 5 weeks 6 days. She maneuvered the wand, and the second sac I thought I had initially seen showed up. It measured and looked much smaller which worried me. The ultrasound tech said this is actually what it should be measuring because I was only 5 weeks 6 days. Baby B measured a day behind at 5 weeks 5 days. Baby A did have a visible heart movement (fluttering), but baby B didn't. The ultrasound tech did not seem too concerned though as I was not even 6 weeks technically yet.
My husband reached over a gave me a high five.
We did it.
We made it to our first ultrasound without bad or sad tears.
She asked us to come back on July 9th to see how babies were doing. We are crossing my fingers baby B's heart is fluttering at that time too!
Thursday, June 21, 2018
Second Beta Results
After the longest 48 hours, my appointment finally arrived to draw my second beta results. I walked in at 7:54AM for my 8AM appointment trying to shield my mind from all doubt.
The night before, I took my second home pregnancy test. My logic for this, was that if my hcg levels increased, my line would be much darker than my 11dp5dt one (from Monday). And it was much darker! Even though this was my second home pregnancy test in a 48 hour period, this "magic trick" of seeing double lines never gets old. The darker line gave me some assurance and some sense of security that my numbers had to hav increased in the past 48 hours.
3 hours and 20 minutes later (which was almost as long as the 48 hours in-between the two beta tests) I got a call from my fertility clinic. The nurse on the other line sounded monotone, and I felt my heart sink. Then I heard the words "came back good." I breathed a sighed of relief, and asked her what my numbers came as. She said 810. The number from my first beta was 276, so my beta number didn't double, it tripled!
The first half of work day after that phone call was easy breezy, and I was slap happy. Come 3pm, I had a whole mood swing, I felt moody, exhausted, and overwhelmed. On top of that, I was insanely bloated to the point my loosest scrubs felt tight. I took a gas-X that morning to help, which it did, but I don't like taking anything unless absolutely necessary. I hate that I am already having to take Tylenol everyday for my extreme back pain. I should have brought another one from home, because the bloat was unbearable as the gas-x wore off that afternoon. Gas-X was one of the medications on my pregnancy approved list from my IVF doctor.
We had such a large influx of patients come in from 2pm to 8pm that I had just enough time to eat a small portion of my Mac & Cheese and yoplait peach yogurt lunch I brought from home, but barely enough water. I usually drink 160oz, but barely drank ver 80oz yesterday. I felt so nauseous that I had to carry a vomit bag in-between seeing patients. My head started spinning, and I got my first headache since starting hormone therapy and since finding out I was officially pregnant. I took 1500mg total of Tylenol yesterday for my back pain and headache, which helped, but nothing would stop the nausea. I had no mints to suck on, and I had no time to eat. My 12 hour shift felt like 24 hours, and I didn't get home until 9:45, and I was 45 minutes late for my PIO injection.
I woke up in the middle of the night with just my torso and pelvis drenched in sweat. Granted, I get very cold before bedtime these past two weeks, so I bundle up in sweaters, and sweats, with three blankets... but have never woken up in a cold sweat just over my torso before. I also had my first bout of mild diarrhea between one of my many night time trips to the restroom to pee all night.
Despite all the crappy symptoms, I am grateful to be bloated, cramping, back pain, frequent urination, cold sweats, and even my one bout of diarrhea.
Sincerely,
The former, now pregnant, egg donor
Monday, June 18, 2018
11dp5dt: Beta Results
I stopped updating the blog after 6dp5dt because we went out of town from 6dp to 10dp. It was the best thing I could have ever done to take my mind off of things. We arrived home last night, and the whole night I had vivid nightmares about having a bad beta result. I went to my beta test appointment this morning, expecting the worst at around 9am. They pulled me back around 9:15am. Waiting in the clinic lobby was torture. I kept seeing and hearing reassuring voices telling me they had a feeling it was going to be positive. I even saw my doctor, who had come up to the front desk and he was telling me he had a feeling mine worked. He said that my embryo transfer went very well and that every transfer he did while the patient was under anesthesia was successful. I gave him a faint hint of a smile, because I was still expecting the worst.
The MA drew my blood, telling me my results would be back by lunch time. I then rushed off to relieve the Physician Assistant that was nice enough to cover the first two hours of my 12 hour shift. By 11:54am, I was anxious. I tried deep breathing exercises and focusing on work, but my thoughts kept returning to beta results. Finally, I swallowed my pride, and called the clinic asking if my results were back. My heart skipped three beats when I heard my number was 276! I started to cry a little bit. Tears of joy of course.
I then rewarded myself by taking an at pregnancy test from work; something I never afforded myself to do before knowing my results. I didn’t want anything to mess with my emotions prior to the beta test. My heart fluttered when I saw a line pop up almost right away! I kept starting at it, making sure the line didn’t disappear.
I dialed my husband’s number at work, but he wasn’t answering. I been tried calling his brother who works with him, but I got no answer. They were probably in a place without service. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I called my mom and texted my sister. My sister, who has never seen an at home pregnancy test result, questioned what the heck those two lines meant and I told her. She was estatic. I really wanted to tell my husband first, but I was bursting with excitement, and I had to tell someone!! I told my sister in law next. She’s the only one in my husband family who knows, and that’s because she has gone through several rounds of IVF herself.
Finally, my husband called and I gave him the results. He was so happy too!
Now, we wait for my second beta test results which will be on Wednesday at 8am!!
Sincerely,
The former, now pregnant, egg donor
The MA drew my blood, telling me my results would be back by lunch time. I then rushed off to relieve the Physician Assistant that was nice enough to cover the first two hours of my 12 hour shift. By 11:54am, I was anxious. I tried deep breathing exercises and focusing on work, but my thoughts kept returning to beta results. Finally, I swallowed my pride, and called the clinic asking if my results were back. My heart skipped three beats when I heard my number was 276! I started to cry a little bit. Tears of joy of course.
I then rewarded myself by taking an at pregnancy test from work; something I never afforded myself to do before knowing my results. I didn’t want anything to mess with my emotions prior to the beta test. My heart fluttered when I saw a line pop up almost right away! I kept starting at it, making sure the line didn’t disappear.
I dialed my husband’s number at work, but he wasn’t answering. I been tried calling his brother who works with him, but I got no answer. They were probably in a place without service. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I called my mom and texted my sister. My sister, who has never seen an at home pregnancy test result, questioned what the heck those two lines meant and I told her. She was estatic. I really wanted to tell my husband first, but I was bursting with excitement, and I had to tell someone!! I told my sister in law next. She’s the only one in my husband family who knows, and that’s because she has gone through several rounds of IVF herself.
Finally, my husband called and I gave him the results. He was so happy too!
Now, we wait for my second beta test results which will be on Wednesday at 8am!!
Sincerely,
The former, now pregnant, egg donor
Wednesday, June 13, 2018
6dp5dt: Second Day Back to Work
I didn't write yesterday because I forgot to bring my laptop to work to "blog" during my down time. It's a shame I didn't. I only saw 17 patients in 12 hours (aka: slow day for me) and I had plenty of down time. Plenty of down time (aka: plenty of time to worry about implantation).
In regards to my symptoms yesterday 5dp5dt: I felt bloated... more than any other day. I literally could feel stretch marks developing as the skin over my abdomen stretched. It was terrible. My IVF doc told me it was okay to take simethicone, but I know nothing is deemed perfectly safe, so I opted against it. I did take 1 gram of Tylenol yesterday though for my back pain that has been going on for 2-3 months now. I'm not sure if there is a correlation, but every time we switch to the right flute for my PIO (progesterone in oil) injection, the right side of my back pain is worse. Since I am having to pee frequently lately, I attempted to get out of bed around 12AM, but felt severe spasms in my back (again, not unusual- I've had this for 2-3 months intermittently) preventing me from turning, changing position, or even getting up from bed. It was easily a brief 10/10 pain. I started crying (cue the estrogen please), and my husband woke up immediately helping me up to use to the restroom. Poor guy. He wakes up at 4AM every morning to go to work, and I just woke him up for my spasms. They were so bad, and I was writhing so much to move, I am afraid that maybe it harmed the implantation process? Ugh, I can't think that way anymore.
Today is officially my 6dp5dt and other my low back pain, I felt okay. Bloating nearly resolved, but still burping frequently (I never have burped this much than I have than in these past few days). No real cramping. I pretty much feel 100%. I don't know if this concerns me or not though. I took 1gram of Tylenol for my back pain this morning and will try not to take anymore the rest of the day. I've noticed that I am getting hungry for small more frequent meals these past two days. Don't know if thats normal, or the placebo effect of me "feeling" or "wanting" to be pregnant though.
I've still been holding on any hcg tests. There are plenty of them here at work I could pee on, but I am testing my will power beyond measure. It feels great to be so strong! Plus, it feels great to be PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise). I've never been pregnant before, nor even had a miscarriage, so I'm savoring it. If anyone is wanting to take one, I hear the best day to take one is 7dp5dt at night.
I am working a half shift today, and then heading off to a political conference via airplane. I asked my doctor if I could my PIO injection 2 hours early (my plane leaves at 8:10PM and lands at 10:30PM). My PIO injection is done at 9PM nightly. My doctor advised no earlier than 8PM. I have no idea how I'll pull this off while sitting on a plane, but we'll figure it out. Already have my doctor's note explaining my armory of needles, injections and what not for TSA. That always went super smoothly when I was an egg donor, so hopefully, this will be just as smooth.
Baby dust to all of you reading,
The Former Egg Donor
In regards to my symptoms yesterday 5dp5dt: I felt bloated... more than any other day. I literally could feel stretch marks developing as the skin over my abdomen stretched. It was terrible. My IVF doc told me it was okay to take simethicone, but I know nothing is deemed perfectly safe, so I opted against it. I did take 1 gram of Tylenol yesterday though for my back pain that has been going on for 2-3 months now. I'm not sure if there is a correlation, but every time we switch to the right flute for my PIO (progesterone in oil) injection, the right side of my back pain is worse. Since I am having to pee frequently lately, I attempted to get out of bed around 12AM, but felt severe spasms in my back (again, not unusual- I've had this for 2-3 months intermittently) preventing me from turning, changing position, or even getting up from bed. It was easily a brief 10/10 pain. I started crying (cue the estrogen please), and my husband woke up immediately helping me up to use to the restroom. Poor guy. He wakes up at 4AM every morning to go to work, and I just woke him up for my spasms. They were so bad, and I was writhing so much to move, I am afraid that maybe it harmed the implantation process? Ugh, I can't think that way anymore.
Today is officially my 6dp5dt and other my low back pain, I felt okay. Bloating nearly resolved, but still burping frequently (I never have burped this much than I have than in these past few days). No real cramping. I pretty much feel 100%. I don't know if this concerns me or not though. I took 1gram of Tylenol for my back pain this morning and will try not to take anymore the rest of the day. I've noticed that I am getting hungry for small more frequent meals these past two days. Don't know if thats normal, or the placebo effect of me "feeling" or "wanting" to be pregnant though.
I've still been holding on any hcg tests. There are plenty of them here at work I could pee on, but I am testing my will power beyond measure. It feels great to be so strong! Plus, it feels great to be PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise). I've never been pregnant before, nor even had a miscarriage, so I'm savoring it. If anyone is wanting to take one, I hear the best day to take one is 7dp5dt at night.
I am working a half shift today, and then heading off to a political conference via airplane. I asked my doctor if I could my PIO injection 2 hours early (my plane leaves at 8:10PM and lands at 10:30PM). My PIO injection is done at 9PM nightly. My doctor advised no earlier than 8PM. I have no idea how I'll pull this off while sitting on a plane, but we'll figure it out. Already have my doctor's note explaining my armory of needles, injections and what not for TSA. That always went super smoothly when I was an egg donor, so hopefully, this will be just as smooth.
Baby dust to all of you reading,
The Former Egg Donor
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